you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize