You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
