I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
