I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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