We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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