there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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