just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
