I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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