So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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