No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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