I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
