Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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