I'd wear matching sweaters with you
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
