You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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