What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
