I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
