Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How external is "for external use only"?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize