She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize