Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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