You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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