ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
