I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
