She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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