my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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