Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
