I could make wine with my vomit
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
