They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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