Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
