# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
