I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
