filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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