Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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