I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
