at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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