I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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