i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dignity is for republicans.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
