I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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