I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
