You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
