Do you still have your period?
where am i from again
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
