I think my vagina is haunted
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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