I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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