i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
