She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
