but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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