found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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