3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
