i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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