would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
