I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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