After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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