Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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