the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
