i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
