I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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