he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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